Pedaling Backwards

Day 6: Acute case of SPRING Fever; tapered with resistance as Spring brings new life, rebirth and floral abundance! It also brings the realization of my turning 40 this month... 40! I'm really struggling with this one... as in I have been crying about it since I was 38. Coming home in absolute tears, the spouse concerned and wanting to comfort. Asking what? Who? My blubbering fear " I am almost 40!!" His look of absolute perplexity. I can still see today.

As my 40th birthday draws near, I have a deep feeling of unfulfillment. I am so proud of what my adult children have accomplished. I feel confident, as a Mother our youngest child, at 14 (5 yrs younger than our youngest son) is such a blessing. I feel knowledgeable of her 'drama/issues in a "we've been down this road before"mannor.

I have worked hard, and climbed the career ladder to support my family, put my husband through college, relocated 2000 miles from our childhood homes with NO regrets, to fulfill his "dream career". He really works for the most amazing people!

My Husband is HAPPY, My kids are HAPPY, and I am ..... almost 40?! My spirit clamors for something... past passions unfulfilled, past dreams unrealized. The WikiAnswers defines 40 "The number 40 means death plan and simple; It rained 40 days AND 40 nights those not aboard the ark died. "They wondered the wilderness for 40 years, the old ones died"

So, with this said: I have decided to FULFILL my passions, my goals and RECLAIM my life. I have enrolled in college starting this spring. Classes start 2 days AFTER my 40th birthday!